i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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