I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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