New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
