i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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