I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
