Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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