Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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