you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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