omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
