It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
