So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
should my penis look like a turkey
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
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