guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
