im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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