K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
