I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
