First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
