yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
