dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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