He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
