Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i drank out of a bidet.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
