I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
