just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
