The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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