What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
