I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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