Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
