So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
