It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So much rum. So many feels.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
