I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
