needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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