In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
