You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
