Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
