btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
