This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
