Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
