My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
