I bet he comes in French.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
