fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
