...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
