Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
