it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
