they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
