and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
