I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
