: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
