Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
