If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
