Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
