Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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