my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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