im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize