Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
