I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
