My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think your dad took our porno
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
