They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
