:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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