Porn is love you can see.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize