I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
